Thursday, February 22, 2007


Welcome Race Fans to the 2007 Season

Started this Daytona trip on Thursday and got to the track at the beginning of the qualifying races in time to meet the other team members: Cowboy and Dutch. Dutch and his friend Larry made Speedweeks a job and arrived with RaceJammer 2 the week before. After some finagling (and other things) we got into our lot and set up shop. Was cold as all hell, and zipping along the infield on these didn't help matters:

But per usual, the Cruisin Coolerscr were a source of constant entertainment, until Dutch took a sinkhole at mach 80 with his hair on fire and ended the day for cooler #2. Oh yeah, as you can tell, Floyd made it to race weekend, probably just so she could be in this snapshot:

Nope, not part of a Shriner parade, this is our dear Carnie, doing her best impression though.

We also enjoyed the wheelbarrow races for the second year in a row (see post 2006), but did not participate in said races. However, a dear admirer and participant from the previous year (again, see post 2006) picked Cowboy out of the crowd of thousands and continued to "shadow" (or stalk...take your pick) us (her) for the rest of the night.

Made it down to tent city for the festivities there thanks to our loaned golf cart and enjoyed Club 3. Especially enjoyed Cowboy getting to smooch Jr:

She forgot she just got married, but oh well, Dutch understood. He almost kissed Jr. too.

Thanks to Kim & Duane, the Team was heated once again by their propane heater and a thousand blankets, and the shots too, whilst visiting:

So other than the cold, was a great weekend for racing. Had to host this poor guy who was locked out of his car. We enjoyed sharing a beer with our new pal, Marty:

Congrats to Mark Martin, I mean Kevin Harvick, on a great finish. Also to our pal David Ragan for his impressive 5th place finish in his rookie year.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006


Surprise Cowboy! It's your Bachelorette Party!

So the Atlanta fall race had a little kick to it this year - a surprise bachelorette party for our dear friend Cowboy, who was getting married to Dutch in May 07, but as luck would have it, they moved it up to New Year's our previously piss-poor timing of a bachelorette party turned out to be quite timely indeed! Also in attendance was Fat Baby's Aunt who brought lots of the fixins, to wit:

Unfortunately, it was colder than shit, so Cowboy had to cover up her suck for a buck shirt...not that that stopped her from earning a hefty sum that night!
This fine gentleman gave us his card because he wanted this picture emailed to him. Not really sure why...

There was a nice list that Cowboy had to accomplish, and she did a really good job. Here's her accomplishing one of those feats: Getting an underwear tag. But who knew she'd pick such a looker?

Oh was Halloween weekend, too. So she wasn't actually harrassing the law!

Last but not least, she was to funnel a beer on top of the 96 Rock stage, which this year happened to be on a roof patio motorcoach. While she may not have funneled the beer, she was on radio, heard by friends in far away lands, and so we counted that task completed! All in all, a successful bachelorette party. We even came away with a new hat, but found the owner later on in the weekend.

Other than the rainstorm as we pulled into the track, great weekend was had by all...had our 4 RV's in a box which turned out great and kept some of the bitter cold weather out. Congrats Cowboy & Dutch and thanks to all those race fans who participated in our "Chase is On" Scavenger Hunt!

Tuesday, November 14, 2006


Talladega Rookie Style

Thanks to Fat Baby's Mama's inlaws, this Dega saw some new faces to the track including Fat Baby's Daddy and Fat Baby's Uncle and Aunt. Kitty misssed her usual race cohorts tremendously, but drank through it and a trip out on the track helped to motor on, as well.

Because of the above mentioned inlaws, we got a once-in-a-lifetime trip around Talladega Superspeedway in a tow truck! On the apron! Woohoo! And got to mill around the front stretch for approximately an hour while we waited to do our parade lap with other safety vehicles and a potato chip truck (kinda sounds like a line from my favorite song, Convoy).

So the Clan met me at Dega, and in true Dega fashion, E got to the track about 1 minute late to cross the track to get to our special infield spot (thanks to Dutch). Gate guy even remembered and commented, "Hey! This happened to you last year!" No shit. Last year's practice cleared by 11:00 a.m. On this day, however, with ARCA, Trucks and Cup cars, the gate was not to be opened (the gate people guessed, and were right) until the evening. Sooooo, luckily the Clan had their truck and we moseyed into the infield to stalk out a parking space, only to meet one of the famous Cajuns from races past. And in typical Cajun fashion, we were welcomed, fed, and fed some more. They may have furnished some adult beverages, as well.

After finally getting into the track, we spent a majority of the weekend between the Cajun party and the Boulevard. Here's FB's Aunt and Kitty enjoying some beverages as Carl Edwards dines in the coach next to us (and drinking our water). Atypical of a trip to the track was the driver sighting quotient, including visits at the Cajun party by Dale Jr., Candyman, D.J. (who FB's aunt conned into a pic) and others.

Also on hand for the weekend was Race Jammer 2! They were parked on the Boulevard, complete with Cruisin Coolers and Jello Syringe Shots! Cruised the strip on the cooler, partook in some wonderful shots and enjoyed our Race Jammer 2 compatriots.

All in all, the Rookies did great, the race weekend was awesome, and FB's Aunt proved herself - think she might be invited to Atlanta!

Sunday, September 17, 2006


Bristol Bash

For the second year, we began our race weekend a bit early, on a Wednesday, all in anticipation of a great racing weekend. This time, however, Kitty got out on the road by 5 a.m. and the trek to Bristol, including the rounding up of one Dutch and Cowboy Dan, only took till 9 p.m., just in time for the start of the truck race. Nor did Kitty have to kill Cowboy Dan for piss poor driving instructions due to her drunken state. All went smooth, including some midnight golf cart riding...

Thursday is a non-race day, so we took the time to be helpful to the race fans in attendance at Bristol, to wit:

We did not charge Nationwide for our services and not surprising, we had at least two takers looking for directions. Which leads one to the Nationwide helpers regularly have dogs and beers whilst they give you information? Me thinks not. Idiots. In the spirit of Kitty's devotion to the insurance industry, there was no bad information given out, though the temptation was definitely there.

So, despite the hot temperatures (way above Cowboy's thermostat tolerance), the Team drank through the day and ended up at this splendiferous event:

That would be the "Hauler Parade" which apparently begins many miles down the road and fans LINE THE HIGHWAY in order to see A BUNCH OF TRUCKS. Being a fan of Smokey and the Bandit and BJ and the Bear, I can see the lure of the parade. But the fact that sooooo many people take time out of their party/drinking night to line a street to hear trucks beep their horns...just scary. Though we are in the hills of Tennessee. Guess that explains it. After the parade and an interesting night of friend-making (or not so much), we bid adieu to Dutch in the morning. Waiting in the wings after a horrific work day was Lil Bit, a.k.a the Carni, who arrived just in time for the night Busch race. We had good seats, but not as good as this race fan:

Oh yeah, that would be the world's best mullet. And luckily for Kasey Kahne, she's a fan. Race was good, made even better by the "cherry game" which consisted of ingesting a liquor soaked cherry during every caution. Unfortunately for us (or fortunately if you're the fellas behind us), this was the Busch race, where they like to crash into each other, and the cherry supply was exhausted by the drunken Team. This in turn guided our way for the evening back at E, cohorting with our neighbors, affectionately known as the Cornhole guys (thanks to their plastic $100 commercial grade bean bag game). Mastering the game of Cornhole at 4 a.m. is not an easy task, or maybe it was, hard to say.

Luckily, our new found neighbors knew "people in the know" and we got tickets to the sold out Cup race. Here's some happy campers in almost the highest seat they could be in, sans cherries:

Per usual, good time had by all. And in typical Bristol fashion, another hurricane was brewing in the seas as Team E learned for the first time as they took off Sunday morning. Luckily, Ernesto was not a Katrina and everyone fared well. Thanks Bristol! It was fun...on to Dega!

Sunday, July 23, 2006


Charlotte Coca Cola 600

We swore we'd never go back to Charlotte, but here Cowboy Dan, Dutch and Kitty went and met up with Kim & Duane to hang out for the Memorial Day Weekend. After arriving at our campsite, we were greeted by a fellow "race fan" in his 1980 Buick Regal low on gas wanting a few bucks. 1) There are no gas stations around 2) There weren't many people around and 3) The fact that this low life said he had VIP tickets which is why he was supposedly there, really raised our suspicions. But, in order to not have cut tires in the morning, we gave the poor shlep $5 with his promise we'd have steaks over the weekend...huh, never did get those steaks.

So our fun consisted of the usual...the wagon. Strapped the sucker onto the back of E, threw it into the back of a rental car to bring it into the infield for the Wagon Races, only to find out they no longer exist. Which was a huge, huge let down as well as a loss for the infield fans. Instead, we rode around and found a mobile margarita bar manned by our neighbors a few doors down. Even found random race fan to cart us around so Dutch could have some time off.

Immensely enjoyed the elixors offered at the mobile margarita bar and even helped make a few:

We won't mention the pole dancing that was going on, or the fact that Cowboy and Kitty felt the need to share the pole with the rest of the infield.

Thanks to Race Jammer 2, the races were seen atop the Jammer in between Turns 3 and 4. The Race Jammer folks even got us out of the racetrack on Friday night to visit the great downtown of Charlotte, NC for the Race Street Party. Other than the $5 beers and clean port-o-potties, not sure what else was there.

Finally, per usual for Team E, we made
our way into the garage area for our obligatory race pic:

No, no those are NOT Solo cups with Jim Beam and Coke in our hands! That would be wrong to bring into the garage area where it is all work! Hell, who are we kidding, if the security guards didn't throw us out for the smell on our breath, they surely wouldn't care if our cups were chock full of Beam. Nor did we give any of our spirits to the fellas working on the various cars here...we swear.

Enjoyed the hell out of the night race and didn't sweat nearly as much as last time we attended the Charlotte race. Congrats to Kasey for a great win. Next Venue...Bristol! Woohoo!

Wednesday, February 22, 2006


The Great American (Wheelbarrow) Race

Well we made it through yet another Daytona weekend with all our limbs still attached, despite Fat Baby's Mamma partaking in the highlight of the weekend, The Wheelbarrow Races. About 100 feet from E's spot was a huge-ass party complete with music, drunks, man waving a checkered flag and Wheelbarrows. FBM's thought to prove herself not a sallie by wheeling said Wheelbarrow with Trackpants Dorkus aboard. She did some races by herself (and lost) before challenging her sister, Cowboy Dan, and finally getting the win. Here's just a sample of the fun that was had:

The victory lap was quite the crowd pleaser. As was the rest of FBM's antics. In looking over our pictures from the weekend, we decided that we really didn't see much, except this train wreck we attended. At times there were motorcycles racing, golf carts racing, and finally no one could drive anymore and it ended with people foot racing (not nearly as exciting as golfcarts doing wheelies). We enjoyed another fun weekend with our neighbors and thank them for all their hospitality and apologize for our late nights (all due to the wheelbarrow races). Our weekend can be summed up by the following picture:

This is FBM, Kitty and Cowboy Dan in front of the sign that personifies a NASCAR race: the NASCAR Tit Judging Stand. Luckily a cold front blew in that night and there was no tit showing...not that there ever is by these three. But you could never tell by the crowd (which included FBM's husband...hmmmmm) that gathered one second after we sat our sorry asses on this box to rest after walking from one side of the track to the other.

On a side note, the completed racing table made its first appearance and a special shout out to Dutch for a job well done! Here's to hoping Kitty's dad doesn't sell the racing tire base to said table for his various habits.

Bravo Team for a job well done and congrats to JJ for winning the 500 (sometimes we forget what we're there for)

Thursday, February 09, 2006


Let's go Racing!

One week from now, we'll be at the track...woohoo! Let the racing season begin! Off to the Daytona infield where we will meet up with our pals from last year, Duane & Kim, who better get us into the Victory Lane hoopla this year. For this year's Daytona festivities, we have newcomers, Fat Baby's Mama and Dead Beat Daddy. The only difference having FBM's on board is that the shitter will have to be emptied every day (she likes to wrap her arm in toilet paper in order to do some ordinary wiping...her husband will be banned from the bathroom in order to let his wife do her thing). Not much occurred during the off-season, except the addition of some extra pounds. Case in point:
Not that it looks bad on Tony (well, maybe just a little). Course, who are we to throw stones? Many months have passed since the Chicken Dip Poisoning, and maybe the jeans don't fit as well now as they used to after said poisoning. On a sunny note, Cowboy Dan reports a recent illness and resulting pound dropage which has caused her oh-so-well-fitting new jeans to droop a little. This is awfully disconcerting for her, considering her previous content with her look. She'll do fine at the track, though...I'm quite sure, especially with her Daytona '05 hair making an encore appearance. Our dear Carnie has to miss the race due to her previous committment to that Arizona pay-for-your-medical-license school she is now teaching for, or at least training to teach for. She will be missed, as well as her endless supply of pointless banter which entertains the troops until her voice goes.

So here's to another awesome weekend and the success of Team E in 2006!

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